This is a very interesting subject. I woke today feeling a little bit 'poor me' (lots of things going on that need my attention and poorly relatives and just a general when do I get to live my life? kind of feeling) but then I gave myself a good talking to, got up and am now getting stuff sorted (via checking my emails and reading this!) Dont be beaten down, you can do it! Whenever I do this I am reminded of my Mum, who is the complete opposite to me and after reading your article I realise that it is self pity, this line - Self-pity means seeking validation for your negative feelings and handing over responsibility for your pain to anyone who’ll take it - and the others in that paragraph, describe her condition perfectly. If you always do what you've always done you will always get what you always got. I struggle to know how to help her sometimes as despite being encouraging/loving/kind/sometimes challenging/offering ways to help her, nothing ever gets done. Everyday there is a chance to make things better and improve a situation but my Mum chooses not to take that chance.
Oh I hear you. My mother is very much the same. But also, as well as proactive self-caring, we must also acknowledge the reality that life really can get very overwhelming. Throw in hormones, and... phew. Oliver Burkeman's book 4000 Weeks, referenced in a previous letter, really helped me. In short, accept that the 'to-dos' will never get done, and life is all about right now, this moment. And it is ever thus. M xx
I really needed this today was spiralling into self pity and identifying whose fault everything was (mostly mine and the universe). I have been practising self care over the past couple of years which has transformed me physically and emotionally but I often feel guilty for being so self indulgent. I feel apologetic to people and myself that I am not more. (Successful, social, adventurous) . See I am trying to seek sympathy when I should just do some self care !
This is a very interesting subject. I woke today feeling a little bit 'poor me' (lots of things going on that need my attention and poorly relatives and just a general when do I get to live my life? kind of feeling) but then I gave myself a good talking to, got up and am now getting stuff sorted (via checking my emails and reading this!) Dont be beaten down, you can do it! Whenever I do this I am reminded of my Mum, who is the complete opposite to me and after reading your article I realise that it is self pity, this line - Self-pity means seeking validation for your negative feelings and handing over responsibility for your pain to anyone who’ll take it - and the others in that paragraph, describe her condition perfectly. If you always do what you've always done you will always get what you always got. I struggle to know how to help her sometimes as despite being encouraging/loving/kind/sometimes challenging/offering ways to help her, nothing ever gets done. Everyday there is a chance to make things better and improve a situation but my Mum chooses not to take that chance.
Oh I hear you. My mother is very much the same. But also, as well as proactive self-caring, we must also acknowledge the reality that life really can get very overwhelming. Throw in hormones, and... phew. Oliver Burkeman's book 4000 Weeks, referenced in a previous letter, really helped me. In short, accept that the 'to-dos' will never get done, and life is all about right now, this moment. And it is ever thus. M xx
I really needed this today was spiralling into self pity and identifying whose fault everything was (mostly mine and the universe). I have been practising self care over the past couple of years which has transformed me physically and emotionally but I often feel guilty for being so self indulgent. I feel apologetic to people and myself that I am not more. (Successful, social, adventurous) . See I am trying to seek sympathy when I should just do some self care !