December Letter 2024
What I've learnt his year, and five investments good for any time of year
The last letter of the year, which makes me feel like it should have some sort of additional gravitas! Certainly a lot has happened this year, both to me personally, and to all of us in the bigger picture of national (and international) affairs. And I do think the end of a year is a moment for reflection. But not on what could have been, more to celebrate all the little wins you made this year — from how many books you read to whether you finally started to learn to speak Italian. I like to consider things like how many times did I meet up with friends and family members; what fun things did I do with smallish; did I travel anywhere interesting (within the UK as well as abroad); and did I do nice things purely for myself.
When we look back it’s rarely to acquisitions that our mind wanders, but to experiences, services and memories. In that vein, Bronnie Ware’s book, The Five Regrets of the Dying, based on her conversations as a palliative care nurse, has crossed my path several times this last week, especially the idea of “I wish that I had let myself be happier”. For happiness we soon come to realise is a choice. It’s a matter of perspective. An outlook.
I also read recently that our brains are not designed to keep us happy, they are to keep us safe. These are not the same thing. And your ‘mind’ is not the same as your brain. And yet, 95% of our actions and responses are propelled by our subconscious, with only 5% consciously initiated. This means most everything we do as we move through he world is based upon learnt codes and old files from our formative history, whether we remember it or not.
Muse on that for a while (ps much of this is covered in previous posts on the power of beliefs, mindfulness and the difference between self care and self pity).
But what I’m learning through a course of hypnosis (as the patient, not the practitioner), is that when we clear away our limiting beliefs (the negative ninnies in our head) by exposing them for what they are (errant beliefs not facts), life literally becomes so much easier! We get out of our own way. I can not tell you how transformative this has been for me, and I will endeavour to write more about it in the forthcoming months. At the moment I’m still processing it. But I can share that I was increasingly aware that old learnt patterns of behaviour were not serving me. In truth, sabotaging me. I’d read all the books, felt like I’d got the bloomin’ t-shirt, and yet still I was struggling. And then came hypnosis. Literal game changer!
What else can I share?
You already know that I dislike Christmas. See below. Pulled out from behind the archive paywall… the gifting ideas in it still stand too. And I’ll spill the beans on how we’re escaping the holidays in another post…
And here was my post on how to avoid the 12 mishaps common to Christmas…
Finally, 5 good investments for this (or any) time of year…
A safe roasting tin that’s healthily non-stick ie not the finish laced with PFAS forever chemicals… The Barcelona Pro collection from GreenPan features PFAS-free Thermolon™ Infinity Professional ceramic non-stick coating with ScratchGuard™ technology for the ultimate non-stick performance and amazing durability.
Sustainable socks that feel like cashmere but are made from recycled plastic, upcycled textiles and tencel (made from tree bark). TeddyLocks have stay-up tops so they don;t fall down, reinforced heel and toe pockets (so they last a long time) and seamless toe technology! And even though the idea of socks made from plastic sounds frankly a bit yucky (one bottle per sock), these are thermo-regulating, moisture-wicking and breathable! And they come in lots of lovely colours.
Essential oils. I prefer organic oils but I don’t care where you buy them from, just please don’t buy any of the cheap artificially scented candles that flood the market at this time of year. The combination of paraffin wax, synthetic colourant and ‘fragrance’ is a toxic pollutant cocktail that has no place inside your home. In my opinion, they ought to be banned. Neal’s Yard oils are all on sale at the minute, I also bought my oil burner from there (a simple ceramic dish with space for a tea light underneath, but I can no longer see it online, so look elsewhere, you don;t need an electric diffuser or anything remote-controlled). And I use GoodLights unscented, plant-based tea lights, available on Amazon.
Organic veg boxes. If you like the idea of supporting real farms and real farmers with mud on their boots while eating some of the tastiest organic fruit, veg and meat around. Order a Riverford food box using this referral code and get £15 off your first order. Full disclosure, I’m completely biased as a longterm devotee. It does cost a bit more than the supermarket, but I see it as a contribution I’m happy to make for the type of world I want to live in. Supporting those who support others; part of a solution, not the problem.
Happy Inside: How to Harness the Power of Home for Health and Happiness. Well I couldn't;t not include my own book could I?! It is many of my learnings and my entire philosophy of home in one neat (and beautiful) volume. I still stand by every word. However, whisper it, there is a new book coming soonish that promises more on sustainability and the link between homes and health.
“I wish that I had let myself be happier”. Gosh, how poignant and a reminder to us all to focus on the positive.